See What I See, Feel What I Feel..

Kemaren sempet nulis dalem bahasa inggris dan ada beberapa orang yang bilang
"gue gak bisa bahasa inggris, pake B. Indo aja donk lo nulisnya"
oke, ini cerita gue tulis pake bahasa Indonesia, biar pada ngeh semua
Cerita ini serem jadi barangkali ada yg penakut ada baiknya pipis dulu
daripada ngompol ntar malah repot kan?
sekalian deh, ceritanya bahas tentang bahasa inggris, gimana gue yang orang kampung bego, yang nilainya jelek mulu bisa bicara bahasa inggris, gue jelasin pake cerita nih..

Nah, Jadi gini ceritanya....



sory baru dari kamar mandi tadi, habis kencing...


Ini kejadiannya sama diri gue sendiri, kalo dari guenya sih ga serem ya karena udah biasa, tapi gatau lagi kalo menurut org lain.
Pernah gak ngerasa kalo lo gak pernah sendirian? Nah.. Ini yang gua udah terbiasa dari kecil
Jadi ini diceritain sama tante gue yang punya "mata ketiga", tante gue ini waktu suka merhatiin gue dari kecil.. Ada sesuatu yg dia tau
Waktu gue diceritain ttg ini, gue jadi ngeh "missing puzzle" yg selama ini gue gak ngerti, ini menjelaskan banyak hal yg gue temuin

Kenapa gue cuma inget TK, dan gak inget apa2 lagi sampe akhirnya gue kelas 4 SD
Dan ada satu lagi, ya nanti juga tau deh kalo gue lanjut cerita, makanya baca ampe abis
Jadi, waktu gue tk dan sering ditinggal kedua orang tua kerja, gue sendirian dirumah..

Tapi.. Apa bener gue cuma sendiri?
Gak tau karena imajinasi gue, atau tiba2 ada yang dateng ke gue,
gue "bertemen" sama mahluk sepantaran gue (waktu itu)
Kata tante gue sosoknya bule, perempuan, sepantaran gue..
Awalnya gue susah "ngobrol"nya, tapi lama2 terbiasa, gue belajar bahasa dia
gue bangun pagi orangtua dua2nya udah berangkat kerja, ngeduluin gue sekolah, dan mereka pulang di saat gue udah tidur.

Jadi ya gue ngabisin waktunya sama si "teman imajinasi" (biar gak serem kalo gue bilang mahluk halus ya)
Sebenernya sampe sekarang orangtua gue gak pernah tau knp gue tiba2 bs lancar bahasa inggris, karena gue gak pernah les, dan sekolah juga ga pernah gw tengok.
Maksud gue pada saat SD itu, sekolah udah ada pelajaran bahasa inggris. tapi gw males ngikutinnya. Mereka taunya krn gue sering nonton sesame street di tv dari kecil, sama maen game-game yang pake subtitle bhs inggris, jadi otomatis gue fasih banget sama bahasa inggris, apalagi umpatan2nya hehe..

Gue ada pembantu, tapi suka ninggalin gue sendirian dan pacaran sama tetangga perumahan belakang, dia pikir gue anak yg ga rewel jadi bisa ditinggal2
Semakin sering sendiri semakin gue deket sama temen gue itu..
Duh gue lupa namanya lagi

Gue kasih tau nih kuncinya kalo pengen ngeliat makhluk halus,
Mahluk halus itu kalo mau menampakkan diri butuh energi ekstra,
waktu gue kecil gue punya energi itu, gue yg bikin dia ada di sekitar gue,
energi itu bisa dari rasa takut juga loh..
Jadi kalo emang takutan, kemungkinan liat mahluk halus itu malah besar..
pernah suatu saat dia masuk / nyebrang ke gue, jadi bikin gue gak inget apa yang baru gue lakuin
beberapa temen gue, apalagi temen deket, apalagi yang deket banget, pasti ngerti dan pernah ikut ngalami kejadian di mana gue gak jadi diri gue sendiri

Nah waktu gue kelas 4 SD nyokap udah bs lebih sering dirumah, jadi pelan-pelan gue gak ketemu lagi sama temen gue itu
Dan lama kelamaan dia lepas dari gue karena gue udah gak "kasih makan" dia dengan energi gue
Sesekali, kalo dia punya cukup energi, dia masih suka ngasitau keberadaannya disekitar gue, dimanapun gue tinggal..
Pernah waktu gue tinggal brg anak2 regional Jakarta, di kamar yg guetempatin suka kedengeran suara cewe nyanyi2 kl gue ga ada
Waktu itu si bo'ay (panggilan buat temen gw yang nyari kunci tapi bego itu) yg kamarnya disebelah gue yg suka denger suara cewe nyanyi di kamar gue
Sekarang gue di Sidokare sendirian, kadang jam segini atau pagian dikit gue suka denger bunyi orang nyapu di lantai 2 deket gudang dan bunyi kipas di ruangan drum
Tuh kan barusan ada bunyi gedebukan dari atas kamar gue, padahal diatas gak ada apa2.. Kalo tikus... Gede bgt tikusnya tuh :)
Pernah kan ngerasa lagi sendiri, tapi kaya ada mata yang ngeliatin dari kejauhan.. Atau bahkan.... Gak jauh sama sekali?
Cerita kali ini gak the end, karena.. Ya gue masih hidup kan heh..
bener gue masih hidup? tapi bener juga gak gue udah mati?
makin dikit yang lo tau, semakin bagus :)


bye



Choa Margera

Another Chaos

Suddenly my ex come to me and explain about what I don't know and what doesn't clear enough
she told me everything, even when I say stop, she keep telling me.
I know that I hurt you for the retaliation song, but it doesn't means I hate you
I never hate someone, but I just don't really care about them
even I don't care about myself, I don't care about anything at all
she told me that she still into me, but all I'm gonna say is no
she asked why? I read your lyrics for me that you still want do it again with me
no, you should realize and read my older post, I wrote that lyrics not for you, it's for my another ex
yeah I'm not gonna make it for you, I still know what you gonna do to me "tomorrow"
and I'm afraid it will happen again tomorrow
ego? no, that just my attitude, wanna change me? well it's alright, but if you really wanna do it,
I'm gonna make some test for you, if you really patient enough, you passed, then I change my attitude
but there's no one could patient enough, no body could change me, so the conclution is
I'm not gonna change myself, If you want to change me, I should test it, but not also just test it, I want make it proud of change me, because the process of the change is harder than my test, so I need someone that had patience enough on me
well should I change by myself?
no, I won't
if nothing motivates or triggering for change, then the change will be hard to do
so just enjoy my last behavior, it's not good at all, it makes everybody hates me
keep your hate on me, cuz I can hold all of them by myself
do I look strong cuz for that?
no, even atlas ever tired of supporting and lifting the earth
yeah I ever feeling tired of this, but It goes again, I should ready again

Still into you (question mark)

Hey folks, wazzup?

not good right?

yeah, it's been 3 weeks I left this blog
I'm tired of filling this blog with "missing" thing
1 month ago, my friend was told me that he's gonna across this country
and stay in the other country
I've got shocked, anybody in jekarda is gone, they went to across the country and many of them
would stay and won't comeback
so, just me, I'm the one who stuck in this country, plan about to leave this country?
yes of course, but I promise I will come back, cuz this country save a lot of precious memory
My ex told me, that she wanted to go to Australia and settled for a few years there, and she cut me a deal to make her a song, than she trade me with some paint job or anything else, then I take the deal, I made her a song
I'm just tired of this love story, saking capenya sampe males translate ke bhs inggris nih sebenernya
so I made this song just for expressed my feeling right now about my another ex, but I will miss her too if she actually went to australia, but those feeling doesn't mean I want her back
I'm tired of those love story, I'm just gonna laid my heart and wait until it fix by itself, I don't want to seek or find anybody, I'm just let anybody find it, and just left it if it was wrong. I know you hate me, everybody hate me, nobody loves me like you before, but yeah, that's just past story again
now all of you is in the friendzone

jadi quotenya gw pake b indo aja dah

Benci sama cinta itu saling melengkapi, gak bisa bilang cinta tanpa ci dari benci dan juga gak bisa bilang benci tanpa ci dari cinta , gabisa ben doank, dan gak bisa nta doank kan? hehe

" Karena ada tai dalam mencintai, dan ada tai dalam dicintai, jadi mari bercinta saja " 

Bye

 

Choa Margera

Tour Life

Hey bloggy,

this tour life makes my back always cracking when I'm wake up
sorry for left you cold in here
doin some photograph, playing as session player, join in some bands
yeah we having a lot's of fun,
running through the hotel corridor just using a T-shirt
until wreck down the show
yang pasti seru banget sampe gw males translate.in ke bhs inggris
 gw mau cerita nih pengalaman pas tour

Dalam sebuah backstage

karena ini tempat baru, gw jadi gugup sebelum naik, alhasil kebelet pipis lah yang selalu terasa
padahal gw bolak-balik terus ke toilet pipis cuma sekali, kadang-kadang sampe toilet ga kebelet, eh pas balik kebelet, gw jadi mondar-mandir mulu ke toilet
temen gw ini berdiri di depan gudang alat-alat cadangan sambil liat ke bawah, semacam mencari sesuatu gitu
terjadilah percakapan...

Choa : Ko, ngapain di luar? di dalem gih sama anak-anak
Rico : entar dulu dah, gw nyari kunci nih
Choa : kunci apa.an?
Rico : kunci mobil, tadi gw pas keluarin stand cymbal, gw pergi ke gudang ini, katanya ga di pake standnya,             jadi gw simpen di gudang ini dulu niatnya
Choa : lha kenapa ga di balikin ke mobil lagi?
Rico : parkirnya jauh bego, males angkut2nya, bantuin nyari ye
Choa : youda gw bantuin nyari

15 menit kemudian

Choa : lu yakin jatuh ? kaga ketinggalan di dalem bagasi?
Rico : iye gw yakin, gw inget pas gw masukin stand cymbal gw bawa masuk kuncinya trus jatuh
Choa : lha jatuhnya di mana?
Rico : di dalem sono (nunjuk gudang cadangan)
Choa : trus kenapa lo nyuruh gw cari disini? lo bego ato ga punya otak sih? heran gw
Rico : elu yang bego, di dalem gelap, kaga ada lampu, ya gw alternatif donk carinya di sini aje
Choa : makin bego gw gaul ama lo

singkat cerita kami melanjutkan mencari kunci bersama setelah selesai tampil


Pelajaran yang bisa kita ambil adalah,

"selesaikanlah masalah pada tempatnya, segelap apapun tempatnya"




Kbye

Choa Margera

I-Empire

I may not be as honest as a prophet
but you know my feeling for you is always real



I may not be as bright as the sun
but i can get you through dark days


I was once broken like Hirosima
until you helped me built back my pillars like Rome




I am your empire
and you should be my throne

Re-rediscovering Atlantis

Im in the beginning of my life, the adventure, the start of something new.

I've started something a year ago and it all comes to this, I'm in the beginning of my peak of career, god knows how hard I've tried, the sweat, the tears, the laugh, the joy, the pain, the ego, and then something happened, something terribly shocking happened

I know I shouldn't have write about this for public so they wont ever notice the imperfections of something that looks this beautiful

I'll share it anyway

weeks ago we were having this so called 'band meeting' to talk about stuff.. as some of you may know, my band consist several people who's also involved in other bands.. on that very day we were having a discussion about the possibilities that one day we're about to make a release album party will make it, what will happen to the other bands that the others involves with.. they said "lets take this further" which means "ok, go!" so i took it further and further and further.. we should had a hell of a release party, it was one of the best time of my life, my parents will be there, I showed them that this is what I've been doing, all the efforts. I showed them and all the other people who believed me that I can took it further, it was definitely a hell of an awesome night.

and then, good things started to come. one big ass cigarrette company offered sponsorship for us to do tour.. ok that was nice to hear

wait there's more

Indonesian small tour! wew that's something. that's SOMETHING with the capital everything.

and then I passed the news to all the other members.. I was expecting a hurray and thrilled but one of my friend who plays this instrument in my band replied with a short "when?" and i replied "juni atau juli" he replied "yaah.. itu pas **** rilis (the cencored initials of that dude's other band" oh you should know how shocked and heartbroken I was that very night.. I lost interest in anything.. really, everything.. I mentioned about the time that we all had that band meeting and he replied "gw juga ga pernah mimpi kita bisa sampe kaya sekarang" what was that suppose to mean? what about our efforts? what about my dreams? what about OUR dreams? he said he wanted to focus to his studies cus he'll be doing final task (skripsi) shortly.. I understand.. what can I do? I'm on your back, pal..

and then I just had a conversation with my other band member who's also with another band.. he said this specific words: "suatu saat emg gw hrs milih cho, dan gw blm bs milih untuk sekarang"

speechless

does this means we're breaking up?

like all my other relationships?

I guess this is the perfect time to say this

"it's all downhill from here"

I don't know what to do.

I need someone to lift me up. I lost her. I know I've lost her.


I'm gonna end this with a quote from a song, i forgot the title of it but this came from one of my favorite local band, fight for a day

"comeback when it's over, I'm gonna tell you a story about me without you"

bye



Choa Margera

Semacam bedah lirik sih

YTTPWGTG
menurut gw itu kayak semacam jargon sok asik sebenernya yang artinya, lo bikin pestanya, kita bawa cewek-ceweknya! tapi sebenernya lagu ini kayak bercerita tentang seorang cowo yang sedang dengerin temennya (cewe) curhat dan akhirnya jadi naksir si cewe yang pinter maen drumnya


You Throw The Party, We Get The Girls


I adore your cute silly grin and
how you brush your shiny hair until another day begins, there will be more sins tonight
(i might be drunk, but i’m sure i’m not)
spending more time alone with you
the rest is up to you

bagian ini bercerita tentang gimana si cowo mengagumi senyum lucu dan gimana si cewe mengatur rambutnya yang mengkilap, ngebayanginnya aja bisa bikin dosa, dan gimana si cowo jadi mabuk kepayang pengen berduaan dengan si cewe, terserah cewenya mau ngapain dia.

we had a date in your imagination
a paradise of your own creation
got caught up in sensation
can’t fight this bad temptation

berandai-andai untuk ngajak kencan di suatu tempat yang cuma ada di kepala, terjebak dalam sensasi dan gak bisa nahan godaan.

is this love? is this love?
take it easy girl dont try too hard
(the rain will stop tonight)
is this love? is this love?

apakah ini cinta? jangan buru-buru, siapa tau badai berlalu (karena si cewe lagi cerita masalah dia sama pacarnya ke cowo ini) so just let it be what it should be

take it easy girl dont try too hard
i’ll be there

jangan mencoba terlalu keras, yang penting gw ada disitu buat lo. ciye si cowo

i know just what you think, yeah
the boy just cracked your head
get over it
get over it

gue tau yang lo pikirin apa, cowo lo bikin kepala lo pusing, lupain aja dia

i know just what you think, yeah
the boy just cracked your heart
get over it
get over it

gw tau yang lo pikirin apa, cowo lo bikin sakit hati, lupain aja dia

such an optimistic point of view
saying kung fu is so untrue

optimis banget beranggapan kalo kung fu itu boongan (mungkin maksudnya ini analogi, yang udah pasti nyata tapi masih gak percaya.. kaya si cewe udah tau cowonya nyakitin dia tapi kaya gak ada apa-apa)

you danced and said “hulla ba loo!”
for a song of blink 182

 

hull a ba loo! itu semacam "horeee!" joget sambil dengerin blink 182, kan enak tuh drumnya blink, travis sih

anything you would get into
of course i’ll be following through

apa aja yang lo mau lakuin, gue pasti dukung dan ikutin

stay with me until the end of day
and then we’ll spend time on the phone

 

tetep bareng sampe harinya habis, dan abis itu telfonan lagi sampe waktunya abis

midnite driving to another time
(talk with me with a beginning rhyme)
du du du dudu dudu du du
(du du du dudu dudu du du)

naik mobil bareng tengah malem sampe hari baru sambil ngobrol dan saling melengkapi, si cowo ga bisa nyetir cuma bisa maju mundur doank, itu aja masih gugup (waktu itu, sekarang bisa belok kanan, kanan doank sih) akhirnya si cewenya deh yg nyetrin mulu

i will meet you on the other line
(i will meet you on the other line)
i will meet you on the other line
(in the mean time)
in the mean time
(in the mean time)
get over it

dibagian ini maksudnya si cowo mau bilang, kita bakal mulai hubungan bareng nanti, tapi untuk sekarang, lupain aja dia dulu. begitulah kisahnya

cowonya masih kecil tuh kayanya, mungkin sekrang baru 17 taun mau ke 18 taun haha

bye

Choa Margera 

Missing the "I"

can I still hold your hands like the last time you were on my arms?

can I still kiss you like i mean it?


guess not.










I tried to be chill but you're hot and I'm melting

Something On My Mind

It's another late night with confusing and mindblowing again
I just don't understand, why the earth stood still if the human don't wanna keep it?
that's not the truth, the truth is there's someone that always care about
just like me, I do care on everysingleone of little things
I never bother to something that try to involve me

"don't get attached to something, you should learn to let it go"
I dunno whatisitabout but it goes right
If you attached to something than you'll hard to forget it
and it goes to the conclusion
"Takkan pernah bisa, kumelupakan, yang tak terlupakan"

yeah everybody done that, but almost everybody
"If you want it to so you will get into it"
that's about make your dream come true
all the things that you've said, and you've done
just remember that I've done even the worst from what you've done
so just wanna say sorry for make you turn up from your ways

"when in desperate, second chance feels like the last chance"
I don't wanna talk about it, cuz I never had a chance for the last time
No, I'm trying on it, but it doesn't gave me the chance
what should I do? waiting for last chance without knowing if there's still another chance for me?
guess what? YES! I'm waiting for it, I dunno why but I can't tired of waiting for you

I kinda good for waiting something or anything
while ignoring all those things beside me and keep focus on what I'm waiting for
but I don't think about "how it could be? is this really work?"
No, I'll try to get myself busy on a thing
yeah, that keeps me away to think about you, and make my life goes on
but it still don't work sometimes

"you better comeback if you running"
that's what I'm thinking about, always
cuz I've got nothing to lose and I've got nothing that precious
I know it's wrong from the start, you never really with me anyway
with hope is starting over and crying every night in my over-sleep
I'm always thinking on it that someday, somehow, or sometimes, you turning back, I always ready on it

in this dome that I called home, I never get along with any of this family except my sister
I dunno why, maybe they hate me, or I'm just a big problem for them
but here it goes, I've got to get my life goes on
that's why I need someone that always care enough for me everywhere, everytime, everyday, and everynight
to get off from this feeling in this family, that's the right thing that you don't know

"thank you for playing around, game over"
that's what you gonna say to me, yeah I dig that
I deserve it, for a long time, the last time I've ever get a punch like this is a long time ago
I still can wake up and waiting for another punch from you to give in
"God thought me to never give in" but it goes really hard
I'm trying to chill but you hot so I'm melted
"If you find out your own diamonds, try to show it even it's not bright"
yea that's the right thing, showing it up not just hiding it and save it to use it tomorrow.

I know you hate me now, I know you've just found what you're looking for
you unfollow me in every social media, you won't leave a trace, and disappear and gone from my life
I know that, I realize it, cuz you deserve someone that better than me
when I said "see you later" is different with "good bye"
it doesn't means to letting you go, but it's letting you out with your own happiness
and waiting to get it comeback by herself

"Kebahagiaan itu tidak ada tanggal kadaluarsa, tapi tanggal pembuatannya yang harus diketahui, meskipun dibuat lagi setelah kadaluarsa"


See you later (:

#hernamehere

Choa Margera

Her Name Here

Lagu ini sebenernya pengen gw rekam belakangan, sebenernya lagu ini buat ngingetin betapa berartinya dia di hidup gw, nah pas itu gw bingung mau nulis lagu belom kepikiran lirik apa-apa, akhirnya gw pake lirik ini untuk ngingetin kalo cuma dia yang gw kejar dengan perjuangan #hernamehere

do you remember
the day we bumped each other
it was a thursday on the back of the class

"inget gak pertama kali kita benturan gak sengaja? hari kamis di belakang kelas?" nah itu kayak lagi bilang gitu deh intinya, seinget gw itu pas pelajaran kesenian sih hehe

we fought almost everyday
in twice of weekends
I can't believe it brought us closer now





kita selalu "berkelahi" yang sebenernya sih saling ngecengin, diem-diem gw pukul lengennya, trus entar dia bales, trus gw bales lagi, dia bales lagi, gw bales 2x, dia bales 4x, gw bales 6x, dah pokoknya saling bales sampe di itung-itung gitu, mainnya 2x kalo tiap weekend, di kelas sama di motor, meskipun curang tapi ternyata di itung juga kalo mukul di motor. tapi semua hal itu yang bikin kita makin deket sampe akhirnya jadian dan putus deh
 
one day I will find you
even if you're not around
don't say "this wont last any longer"
or "you will find someone better"


gw mau bilang ke dia, suatu saat kalo dia pengen balik lagi, gw pasti bakal nemuin dia lagi, jangan bilang "kita gak akan tahan lama" atau "kamu akan temukan orang lain yang lebih baik" (klise banget kan denger gitu kalo putus hehe)  

It's you that I'm waiting for
so I'll wait for you
take number we still have each other
but to text you soon

karena gw maunya cuma dia, dan gw cuma nunggu dia, simpen nomer masing-masing biar gampang ngehubungi kalo mau balikan, dan gw mau ngingetin kalo sampe kapanpun kita tetep bisa bareng kalo sama-sama cari jalan, karna dia juga yang ngajarin gimana nyelesaiin masalah dan bukan lari dari itu, karna masalah bikin kita tambah dewasa, meskipun gw agak lambat dalam pendewasaan hehe

udah sekiranya sih gitu doank liriknya



bye


Choa Margera